sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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