i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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