My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
