it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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