I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm both gender and math confused
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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