i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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