Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
