it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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