just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Verdict: uncircumcised.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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