I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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