Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
