last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
