it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Someone shattered a urinal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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