conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
