Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
