Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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