sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
