i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
