he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
