I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
