I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we should paint friendship bongs
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