I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
