Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm passing your future prison.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize