why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
