I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
