I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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