how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
