Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
