I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
