What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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