If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
