Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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