are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
