Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
