How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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