Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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