Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This house was built for laser tag.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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