dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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