It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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