I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
