pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
