Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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