8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
