As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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