i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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