everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize