Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
