Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
