Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
