physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
