Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
