Christians are straight up FREAKS
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
