This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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